oh skokie.

As some of you may know, my office recently relocated to Skokie, Illinois, and I have been having some trouble adjusting to the change.  First of all, the old office was in my college town of Evanston, which I just love love love.  Second, Skokie sucks. Third, I have to drive there everyday, killing the planet a bit more with every commute. The gods are displeased, I can tell, as they MADE ME GET INTO A CAR ACCIDENT LAST WEEK on my way home from work. I mean, it wasn't my fault, and it was badly raining, and the car isn't that hurt, and I'm not hurt at all in the slightest, and as a reward I did get to sit in the back of a cop car, but still. I can tell they frown on my commute.

 

Anyway, the point is, I now have to work in Skokie.*  I spend a lot of time in the car, and also I spend a lot of time complaining about my lunch options.  Lunch options are basically the same as in Evanston—potbelly, noodles, panera, jimmy johns—plus the added bonus of Corner Bakery and Portillos, but to get to ANY of these, I AM REQUIRED TO DRIVE.  So I spend a good part of the 11 am hour every day complaining about having to go get lunch (because we all know it's just about impossible for me to bring lunch, let's just face it.)

 

So anyway, today I went to Panera, which I don't even like that much, but which is next to Ulta 3 where they sell the nail polish I wanted (it's called Moscow at Midnight, which looks JUST LIKE Lincoln Park After Dark, except it's shimmery). So after I got the nail polish, I traipsed on over to the Panera to get my turkey sandwich and the boy behind the counter, who had magician hands (they were all twirly and distracting, just like a magician's.  I learned that from a book i just read about magicians. Rather than telling you the name, i'm going to tell you the twist-- THEY'RE TWINS! and also, HE ACTUALLY TRANSPORTS HIMSELF!) Anyway, that's beside the point.

 

The point is that he  was named Josh, and his name tag was in English and Hebrew.  And because he greeted me by name (which he got off my credit card, because, yes, I CHARGE A $5 SANDWICH), I then said, Why thank you, Yehoshua. Which is Hebrew for josh. And you know what he did then? He said, B'vakasha! At mevenah ivrit? Ani meveen k'tzat ivrit. And while this was an exchange ALMOST exactly from my Hebrew language learning tapes, and one I could understand anyway, as I was once fluent in Hebrew (though that seems like a lifetime ago), I totally froze! I said k'tzat! K'tzat! And then I got all embarrassed, and then he was like, b'seder,  and then said it all in English. I couldn't prove to him that I knew what he was saying! I mean, I was able to read Joshua in Hebrew, so at least I knew a little, but it never feels good to be one-upped by the guy working in panera.  Especially when he has magician hands… and lives in Skokie.


* Randomly related story-- when I was in college, Janaene Garofolo came to speak on campus, and she revealed that she used "Skokie, Illinois," in the same manner that the rest of us use the phrase Bumblefuck. you know, for WHERE THE HELL IS THIS PLACE AND WHAT IS THE POINT OF ITS EXISTENCE?!??!

Comments

[nobeenelo]

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