The other day, I was at a BBQ (ok, obviously that day was the fourth of july, but whatever), and it was very late at night and I had had a lot of beer and not a lot of food, so I was poking around the fridge (I like to make myself right at home wherever I go) and found, to my great delight, yellow mustard and American cheese, which I obviously turned into a sandwich using a hamburger bun. It was possibly the most delicious cheese sandwich I've ever eaten.
Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but during the winter I made a truly terrible decision and read the Omnivore's Dilemma and you know, that other one, about how to eat—both by Michael Pollan. Now, these are EXCELLENT books, they really are. They make you think about what you're eating and why and where it comes from and it really makes you much more conscious about everything you eat. But for a while, and I'm going to be honest here, if you read these books, you're going to become convinced that pretty much the only thing that is ethically and organically safe for you to eat is locally grown wild mushrooms. But that's beside the point. My phase of eating mushroom-and-local-lettuce salad only lasted about a week, don't worry.
The point is that after reading these books, you stop eating things like Jell-O and triscuits and special k and fish sticks and processed cheese and really, processed anything. And you start eating thigns that are much fresher and more delicious (and more expensive) and you feel good about yourself as a person—all that crunchy kashi and crunchy locally made whole grain bread and all that in-season-only fruit meaning that you can't really eat fruit in march at all, because what's in season in march? And I guess it's healthy but it's freakin' expensive and kinda depressing and definitely not all that colorful.
But then! I HAD A CHEESE SANDWICH! And I haven't been a perfect eater since the Michael Pollan books, not really—I still eat regular condiments, and if I'm at a party I'll eat Doritos, and I love Coke, but you know, when I shop for myself, it's all pretty healthy. I DEFINITELY cut out American cheese. But you know what? I DON'T KNOW WHY! That sandwich was DELICIOUS!
And since then, I'm ALL ABOUT the processed food (I also had a hotdog earlier at the bbq, but that doesn't count, because I HAD to eat and I thought it would be a fun adventure—it had been years since my last hotdog!). I made BROWNIES FROM A BOX and I bought jarred salsa and then, you know what I did on Monday after some prompting from Sailboat?
I went to the Ghetto Grocery on my corner and I bought a BOX OF KRAFT MAC & CHEESE. And it was so delcious. (but then I tried to eat the whole box, and after one regular sized bowl I was kaput and had to put the rest in the fridge. But it was still SO GOOD. Just as good as I remembered from childhood, which is probably the last time I ate it.)
And you know what I'm going to do tonight? I'm going to have a sundae from the dairy queen. FOR DINNER.
Welcome back to the world of icky foods! Processed food is awful and probably causes autism, and ADD and dyslexia, and bi-polarism (is that a word?), and a host of other issues, but I do not care. When was the last time you enjoyed any meal in any fine restaurant as much as that cheese sandwich? Your first grilled cheese might send you over the edge, so make sure you take it slowly.
Posted by: Aunt T | July 10, 2008 at 04:21 PM